It was a play about honesty, with oneself and with the world and its about the dreams we often have and almost as often give up on. There was conflict between family and society. Who wins? Save the family and betray the social order, or let lose the family when the greater good calls for it? Who are our families?

There was a doctor in the play. He was really the voice of the writer in this show it seemed. He was the one to bring up life's focus on practicality. We can't always do what we want, because it is not practical. It won't support our family or the lifestyle we wish to display ourselves living. And we give up on those dreams, watching our honesty disappear.

I hope I'm not doing that. It bothers me sometimes to think that what I am doing with my life, everything that's happening with my life, might be happening because its practical, its a "good idea." I get all worked up sometimes worrying about if I'm really being true to myself. And then I realize you can't really know unless you act, unless you do something with your life. I can't sit paralyzed by the fear that I'm not doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing. I'd rather just do things I think will help at the moment with out bothering about the "purpose" behind them or whether it "fulfills" me or not. Whatever I do, if I do it well and my heart is in it, will be what being true to myself means. I get to decide what it means by deciding to act. Because, who am I without action? You are what you do. The tough part is doing it with your heart.

Maybe that's what I'm really worried about...that I don't have a heart with which to do meaningful things or with which will feel the beauty behind the actions.